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It took five years of dating and over 200 of them before I was able to say I would love to take you on a date

There are two types of first date. There is the first date with a woman you have actually seen and the blind first date, normally arising from online dating or an introduction from a friend.  You could argue that its not ‘blind’ because you have seen a picture of the person on their profile but we all know how you women love to use the most flattering of your pictures so this is not reliable evidence of hotness.


A first date with you if we have met before can get me in a right spin (perhaps these ‘online’ days this should really be called our second date). I know I fancy you or we wouldn’t be having a date, so I will get all worked up about what to say, how to act, what to wear (I regularly buy a new outfit for such occasions) and what I need to do to make you like me.


Believe it or not I also treated most first ‘blind’ dates like this too. Since I first winked at (that still sounds weird) or messaged you I have been busily building you up in my mind. You are a smouldering beauty with a Helena Christensen figure, a funny and engaging personality who has kinky fantasies about slightly overweight middle-aged men.

Every email and phone conversation reinforces my view that you are the one I have been searching for all my life. By the day of our date it is taking all my willpower not to just buy an engagement ring to bring along with me.  And then we meet!

I have had so many of those crushing ‘for fuck sake’ moments where I realise as soon as I see you that I just don’t fancy you, or even worse, I really fancy you but can see the crushing disappointment in your eyes as you approach.


That was in the days when I hated first dates.

So what changed to make me love the chance to get out for coffee or a drink with you?

I stopped trying. I let go of the need to impress you and just come on the date to connect with you because you’re another human being, rather than the next wife. As soon as I took the pressure off my need to like you or for you to like me I act began to really enjoy first dates. We humans are sociable creatures and we like to connect with other humans, especially when we have no agenda or ego wrapped up in the conversation. It means I can focus on really getting to learn some stuff about you and connect at a deeper level.

Guess how attractive that made me on dates……………..

To learn all about the hilarious ups and downs of my dating life buy your copy of Tidy up on your way out here